Examination of Conscience

I have a regular confessor. I find it is better for me to have someone who is familiar with me, and my patterns, as a confessor as he is able to help me to see these patterns and not only absolve me of my sins, but is able to give me sound advice as to how to avoid falling into the same traps of sinfulness over and over.

One of the things I have really come to appreciate in celebrating this sacrament is the preparation that is involved. Examining one’s conscience is never easy, and is always necessary to deepen one’s relationship with God. I have a few resources that I have found helpful, in particular one using the beatitudes, the Daily Examen from the Spiritual Exercise and the US Catechism for Adults. I find that using more than one resource helps me to really examine what my sins are and where my patterns of sinfulness are leading me away from God, so I am always on the lookout for something that causes me to look at things from a different perspective.

I came across this poem last week, in preparation for my confession, and it helped me more than any of the others had been, so I will share it with you. It comes from a wonderful little book called “Hearts on Fire- Praying with the Jesuits”. The poem was written by Leo Rock SJ, who has been director of novices for the Jesuits of the California Provence, is a spiritual director and retreat master.

Killing Time

How do I kill time?

Let me count the ways.

By worrying about things

over which I have no control.

Like the past.

Like the future.

By harboring resentment

and anger

over hurts

real or imagined.

By disdaining the ordinary

or, rather, what I

so mindlessly

call ordinary.

By concern over what’s in it for me,

rather than what’s in me

for it.

By failing to appreciate what is

because of might-have-beens,

should-have-beens,

could-have-beens.

These are some of the ways

I kill time.

Jesus didn’t kill time.

He gave life to it.

His own.

This was a real eye-opener, and helped me to go much deeper into my examination of conscience, which in turn helped me to have a wonderful confession experience.

And it has helped me to look more closely at how I am killing time!